I sometimes dread it when people ask where I come from.  Not more than 10% of people who hear “Bahrain” as answer have some sort of idea where that country might be, but that’s not my cause of annoyance.For those who know that Bahrain is indeed in the Persian Gulf, there is one thing that comes to mind- wealth.

Some people might ask, but it’s those who assume who annoy me the most. For the past two months I made a lot of friends, mainly Indians given the demographics of the student body in my program. Despite the fact that most of these are actually Indian elites, owners of chains of businesses and are wealthy themselves- they love to point out that I must be wealthy. When at some occasions I said just that, it appeared that some have the notion that we’re unnecessarily wealthy, that is, it’s undeserved wealth; while theirs is hard worked for. Oh, and they use Bahrain and Dubai interchangeably.

-    Public transport here is not very good, but getting a car is very expensive. I would’ve got one
-    Used or new?
-    Used, I’m only here for a short period of time.
-    Get a new one it’s better
-    It’ll be much more expensive
-    But you come from Bahrain, you can buy a car!

-    You mean you’re not rich?
-    Actually, no.
-    Everyone in Dubai was rich.
-    I don’t know about that, but not everyone in Bahrain is rich.
-    Only expats are poor.
-    That’s very misguided.

-    No one speaks Arabic there.
-    Expats tend to not learn it.
-    No, I stayed in Dubai for four years and no one speaks Arabic.

-    You live on your own?
-    Yes.
-    Doesn’t it work out to be expensive? But it’s ok for you, you’re from Bahrain.
-    I live 2 miles away from the university, you live across the street. Apartments where I live are much cheaper. Oh, and my scholarship actually pays for the rent not my dad.
-    But your dad would, if they didn’t.
-    He would if he could.
-    You mean he couldn’t?
-    No.
-    Come on.
-    I’m serious.

No matter how people try to merge both into one, culture and religion are two different things. In his article about decaying Khaleeji values, emoodz blurs the borders of culture and religion on our part of the world, and looks at the society as one piece. Confused and puzzled he writes about the double standards of societies of the Gulf States.

Islam and the Arabs, although tightly related, are two different entities. The Arabian culture was- and still is- rich with customs and rituals that are not particularly Islamic. Islam nurtured some, tried to abolish some, and said nothing about most. During the 1400 years of post-Islam Arabia, the interaction between the Arabian culture and Islam was dynamic. Islam added to the Arabian culture, and so did the culture to Islam. New Hadiths came to the surface and often with odd culturally endorsed concepts.

No matter how stern Islam was on trying to shape a new nation out of the Arabs, abolishing the Arab nationalism into a new Islamic Identity- this was never entirely achieved. Humans have multiple feelings of belonging, and the hierarchy of such feelings changes with the change of time, circumstances and surroundings.

The majority of the Khaleeji population is not in a yes-or-no, take-it-or-leave-it position with Islam. They pick and chose what suits their personal beliefs and lifestyle, what the society makes an easy option and what they are accustomed to do. The blend of Islam and Arabia is what makes up our society, the components of which vary in proportion from one person to another.

I remember being asked once what the Bahraini culture thought of food. Is it something that you should save, not waste and never cook a lot of, or is cooking a lot of food part of being a good host?

I stopped for two seconds before answering. There were both perceptions in our society: the former being the Islamic one and the latter being the Arabian one. Islam condemns the waste of food, while Arabia mandates a good host to provide multiple amounts of food more than needed by his guest. “So, what do people usually do?” He asked. “One or the other, it depends on the person” I answered.

In another incident, I heard an English friend say that when she was on holiday to Egypt, they were in a secluded desert area that only had the tents of the locals. “The Bedouins sold us food and beer!” she exclaimed. “I didn’t know Bedouins drink”.

Truth is, there is nothing particularly Bedouin or even Arab about not drinking. The existence of distinctively Arab alcoholic drinks (e.g. Arak) being the best evidence. Islam forbids drinking, not Bedouins.

Islam promoted women’s modesty in their dress code. Pre-Islamic Arabia had the face-cover, the veil or the Burqa, which was used to protect a woman’s face from the sand and to cover their identity. Women did not cover all other parts of their body- as preserved by women adhering to the Islamic dress code. Yes, they might cover their faces, but they showed their arms, hair and cleavage.

Every culture has its form of dirty dance, and Arabia is no exception. The counter-Islamic notion of dirty dance would never abolish dirty dancing from any society. The face cover in the dancing clip in emoodz blog is rather normal; it is an ancient Arabian custom for women to dance with their face covered- some men find it a turn on and that is exactly the point. The Islamic background of the society has nothing to do with this part of their lives; the dancers’ face cover is a display of her culture rather than her religion, part of the whole theme. An Arabian themed porn movie with a face covered woman- double standards? Obviously the face cover has no religious notion here. Women cover their faces when they’re performing some dances even in the women-only weddings and gatherings.

The dirty dances of all cultures- including lap dances are of the same principle. I do not see why this should be linked to women needing sex. Women perform such sexual acts implied dances in clubs all the time- and I wouldn’t assume these girls to be sexually deprived.

Next thing we will hear is how Caracalla dancers were dancing with their heads covered with the costume they were wearing- what double standards.

Mind you, I don’t like the dance after all.